Sep 8, 2016

Posted by in From the flight deck | 0 Comments

Agent Halfhill

Hello Gold and Epic,

Well, like most other agents I am depressed to hear the news about The End. This is made even worse by how the game is throwing around cp and gold like crazy. Maybe if the devs would have been a little more giving with gold and cp before now more players would not have walked away from the game.

Anyway, in times of sadness I try to find a way to make others smile, so I thought I would share how I think we got to this point — and yes, I am willing to take full responsibility. Okay here goes, this is how I think the conversation of the Dev’s must have brought us to this place. I know it’s a little long, but I hope will bring a smile. Maybe each of you could take a role in reading the Devs conversation below.

One year ago
Dev #1 enters Playdom Control Room happily whistling.
Dev #2 looks up – “Uh sir, we’ve got a problem.”
D1 “What’s wrong?”

D2 “Agent Halfhill made it to Adamantium in last season’s PVP.”

D1 “What?!? How is this possible?”

D2 “He finally acquired Heroic Age Iron Fist.”

D1 “Blast! I thought this might happen. What should we do?”

D2 “We could always just nerf Iron Fist?”

D1 “You mean nerf one of our most popular characters? Nerf a hero that was a reward for chapter mastery?!?”

D2 “Well, sure. Why not?”

D1 “That’s brilliant. No one will probably even notice. And it will stop Agent Halfhill’s rise. Make it so, Number 2.”

Months later
Dev 1 sits in the Playdom’s Treasure Room surrounded by gold like Scrooge McDuck.
Dev 2 enters in a panic. “Sir! I’m so glad I found you. There’s a situation. Um. Uh. Were you swimming around in this gold?”

Dev 1 stands up quickly. “Of course not! What’s the situation?”

D2 “It’s Agent Halfhill again.”

D1 “Him again. I thought we took care of him when we nerfed Iron Fist. What’s wrong now? I mean we made the Worthy costumes so far out of his reach with cp cost that he will never get them.”

D2 “That’s just it, sir. He achieved his first Worthy Costume.”

D1 “What!?! How could you let this happen? Which Worthy did he get? Not Nul?No – Wait! He didn’t achieve Kuurth did he? She’s my favorite. We can’t nerf her!”

D2 “He just unlocked Angrir.”

D1 “But that was the latest chapter reward!”

D2 “I know sir. What do we do? Angrir has been frustrating everyone in PVP. I mean he is really driving people crazy. But now that Agent Halfhill has him…”

D1 “You’re right. We have no choice. Nerf that fire-headed weirdo into oblivion!”

The Summer of 2016
Dev 1 is pacing the floor.
Dev 2 comes running in carrying a stack of papers that are falling everywhere.

D1 “Did you get the latest print out? What’s the results?”

D2 “Agent Halfhill continues to find a way into Ada League sure.”

D1 “Inconceivable! But was he upset that we released Faiza Hussian who pretty much does the actions we nerfed from Iron Fist?”

D2 “Oh yeah. That really ticked off lots of agents including Agent Halfhill.”

D1 “There must be some way to stop this Agent. How does he keep doing this?”

D2 “Sir, there’s a bigger problem.”

D1 “Now what? What could be worse that Agent Halfhill not being smacked down into Vibranium. I mean I love doing that. You should have seen the looks on the faces of those From the Hellicarrier hosts when we kept them from Ada. I laughed for hours.”

Dev 1 takes a drink from a Coffee Cup with a familiar symbol on it.

D2 “Sir, Agent Halfhill now has the resources to obtain Kuurth.”

Dev 1 drops the coffee cup and it smashes on the floor.

D2 “I knew we Tony Stack Summer give away was too much. We should have stopped him. Now it’s too late. Halfhill already has Mokk and Gre – Greith – ah forget it! I still can’t pronounce Ghost Rider’s new name.”

D1 “How much time do we have?”

D2 “It’s only a matter of days before he has Kuurth and then Nul won’t be far behind. Sir we knew he was getting Mokk and What’s His Name Ghost Rider. That’s why we made sure they would be useless in PVP. But he’s got Clock and Dagger now and Spitfire. He’s even got Faiza. And soon Kuurth! What are we gonna do!?!”

D1 “There’s only one thing we can do.”

D2 “You don’t mean…”

D1 “We have to.”

D2 “But sir!”

D1 “There’s no buts about it. Can’t you see what’s happening here? KingFisher slipped past all our plans to stop him. I thought we had stopped those blasted Helicarrier guys when we annoyed Clots so much that he left.

But now they are getting stronger each week with that Professor and the Anidoe agent. Even kidnapping the Professor and getting Anidoe stuck for weeks in a flight – which made me laugh – still hasn’t stopped the growing power of the Hellicarrier. Now Agent Halfhill is about to get Kuurth. We can’t nerf her. I mean – I know it seems like we should have a long time ago. But we just can’t. There is nothing left. You know what to do.”

D2 “You mean?”

D1 “Yes. Pull the plug. We have to end the entire game. They are getting too close. But we have to cover our tracks. Give them one more Spec Ops and throw another hero out there to throw them off our scent. But then we have to end the Alliance game. Go and make the announcement.”

D2 “You’re right. I will get to work on it right away, Sir.”

D1 “I know you will. And remember (Developer 1 says with a grin) Hail Hydra.”

D2 “Yes, sir. Hail Hydra.”

The End.

Ps. Wouldn’t it be great if this whole thing was a Hydra plot and the game continued after someone foiled the plot to end the game? Well, we can dream. Thanks for an awesome podcast. I have really enjoyed you guys.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.